As parents, how much are we obligated to share and educate our children about the realities of life? I ask myself this question continuously, especially in light of the actions of some of Josh's favorite stars. Miley Cyrus and Michael Jackson are two examples.
The mother in me wants these to be the images Josh thinks of when the two celebrities are mentioned. We know, however that there are a lot more controversial and "ugly" sides to both.
Josh loves Michael's music. He dresses up like Michael, including "the glove." He dances the woonwalk, and sings all the songs from the Thriller album. But, does he understand the things MJ was accused of? Does he realize the drug problems that surrounded his death? Could he comprehend the huge transformation (from either a medical condition or extensive plastic surgery) that raises serious questions about race and self-image?
Then there's Miley. Josh was, and continues to be, a huge Hannah Montana fan. He loves Billy Ray and all of Miley's music. He'll probably watch Hannah re-runs and DVDs "forever." But how much does he really understand about the recent controversies and how she is re-packaging herself as she "matures?"
Josh loves Michael's music. He dresses up like Michael, including "the glove." He dances the woonwalk, and sings all the songs from the Thriller album. But, does he understand the things MJ was accused of? Does he realize the drug problems that surrounded his death? Could he comprehend the huge transformation (from either a medical condition or extensive plastic surgery) that raises serious questions about race and self-image?
Then there's Miley. Josh was, and continues to be, a huge Hannah Montana fan. He loves Billy Ray and all of Miley's music. He'll probably watch Hannah re-runs and DVDs "forever." But how much does he really understand about the recent controversies and how she is re-packaging herself as she "matures?"
Another - "What's a mother to do?" moment
For some, I'm sure the question of whether or not to at least attempt to discuss these things with an adult who has an intellectual disability is ridiculous. Some would say, "of course," by refusing to accept and educate our kids about reality we simply buy into the notion of "othering." For these people, not discussing the truth would seem like an attempt to foster the "perpetual child" stereotype. Other parents may refute this by saying there is no need to burden our kids with things like this.
Honestly, I'm stuck. I think the decision should hinge more on the adult's ability to process the information, but how do we really know what their ability is? Josh continues to amaze me on a regular basis in this regard. He'll say something that will stun me, and I'll wonder how he knows that or where did he get that from.
As far as these two specific instances go, I'm not sure how much Josh has really digested. When it comes to Michael, he's never mentioned the "bad" stuff. He's never asked about how Micheal died, or what the lawsuits were about. He's never mentioned race. Josh has noticed a difference in Miley recently though. Just the other day he told me about how she "cut her hair again." He doesn't like the "spikey" look and thought she was acting "weird." Don't get me wrong, Josh likes his female dance videos... he's surprised me and others by his reactions to them at times (ugh!). I just wonder if he's ready to see Miley as a "grown up."
So far, I've kind of left it up to him. If he asks me about something, I wouldn't hesitate to answer as honestly as I could. But I haven't offered the information for fear that it would somehow lessen the joy he gets from listening to the music and watching the shows/videos. In a way, I think I'm jealous of the idea that he is unencumbered by this noise. How many of us wish we didn't know what Miley has been up to lately and that she's declared that Hannah is dead? As a child of the '80s I'd like to remember the days when MTv was about music videos and The Jacksons weren't in court all the time. But is that just my own selfishness? Am I somehow "dehumanizing" (gez I hate that word) my son by not making sure he has all the facts?
I'd love to hear your comments and suggestions. What do you do? The truth about celebrities is just one side avenue on this road. Other subjects apply, like death in general, crime, sickness... all the things that are difficult to process and accept for those of us without a label. How much do you share?
Honestly, I'm stuck. I think the decision should hinge more on the adult's ability to process the information, but how do we really know what their ability is? Josh continues to amaze me on a regular basis in this regard. He'll say something that will stun me, and I'll wonder how he knows that or where did he get that from.
As far as these two specific instances go, I'm not sure how much Josh has really digested. When it comes to Michael, he's never mentioned the "bad" stuff. He's never asked about how Micheal died, or what the lawsuits were about. He's never mentioned race. Josh has noticed a difference in Miley recently though. Just the other day he told me about how she "cut her hair again." He doesn't like the "spikey" look and thought she was acting "weird." Don't get me wrong, Josh likes his female dance videos... he's surprised me and others by his reactions to them at times (ugh!). I just wonder if he's ready to see Miley as a "grown up."
So far, I've kind of left it up to him. If he asks me about something, I wouldn't hesitate to answer as honestly as I could. But I haven't offered the information for fear that it would somehow lessen the joy he gets from listening to the music and watching the shows/videos. In a way, I think I'm jealous of the idea that he is unencumbered by this noise. How many of us wish we didn't know what Miley has been up to lately and that she's declared that Hannah is dead? As a child of the '80s I'd like to remember the days when MTv was about music videos and The Jacksons weren't in court all the time. But is that just my own selfishness? Am I somehow "dehumanizing" (gez I hate that word) my son by not making sure he has all the facts?
I'd love to hear your comments and suggestions. What do you do? The truth about celebrities is just one side avenue on this road. Other subjects apply, like death in general, crime, sickness... all the things that are difficult to process and accept for those of us without a label. How much do you share?